Someone You Can Count On

A Different Kind of Confidence

Imagine waking up each morning knowing there is one person you can always count on.

You. 

Not because you'll never make a mistake or because you'll always know the right answer.

Because you know you'll keep listening to your heart. You'll keep learning. You'll keep choosing again. You'll keep moving toward the life that feels true to you. No matter what.

That, to me, is confidence.

Handing It Away

I couldn't always say that. There was a time when I believed confidence lived somewhere outside of me. I didn't know I had handed it away. I didn't hand it away all at once. I handed it away one piece at a time.

To the number in my bank account. To the size of my arms and thighs. To whether my husband agreed with my decisions. To whether a potential client said yes. To whether I was doing enough.

Every time I asked something outside of me to decide whether I was enough, I handed away another piece of myself.

Something I Couldn't See Then

None of those things were actually giving me confidence.

I had allowed them to decide when I believed in myself.

Those messages came from many places—my family, religious beliefs, society, and my own perfectionism.

I didn't question them.

I lived them.

I had never considered that I could be the one who decided whether I trusted myself. I was so tuned in to everyone else's opinions, expectations, emotions, and energy that I rarely stopped long enough to notice what was true for me.

I couldn't hear my own heart because everything around me was louder.

A Simple Question

Then someone asked me a simple question.

"What do you really want?"

Such a simple question. Yet I realized I had spent years trying to make everyone else happy that I wasn't sure how to answer it.

My heart had been speaking all along. I had simply learned to trust everyone else's voice before my own. That changed everything.

Putting Down the Billy Club

So I put down the billy club. The one I had used against myself for years. Instead, I placed a hand on my heart. I listened.

Sometimes the answer came quickly. Sometimes it didn't. Sometimes I still asked people I trusted for guidance. The difference was this. Their voices became guidance. They stopped becoming the voice that decided what was true for me.

Little by little, I became someone I could count on. Not because I became perfect. Because I knew I wouldn't abandon myself.

What Confidence Feels Like Now

Today, confidence feels very different than I once imagined. It isn't loud. It isn't proving myself. It isn't having all the answers. It isn't getting everything right.

It's knowing that even when life surprises me, even when I make a mistake, even when someone disagrees with me, I will come back to my own heart.

Something Will Change

One day, you'll notice something has changed. You'll make a decision without asking three other people first. You'll say yes because it feels right. Or no because it doesn't. You'll stop waiting for someone else to tell you you're okay.

Not because you've become fearless. Or because you've figured everything out. Because you've become someone you can count on.

No matter what.

One Quiet Moment

Maybe that begins today. Not with a giant leap. Just one quiet moment. A hand on your heart. A slow breath. And one simple question.

“Heart, what is one thing you want me to know right now?”

Then... listen.

Your heart has been speaking to you all along. 

Maybe today, you'll begin trusting what she has been trying to tell you.