What If Peace Doesn't Require You to Change?
On Friday morning, I walked out of my house barefoot.
My shoes and socks were in my hands. My suitcase was packed. My luggage tags had been printed about ten minutes earlier.
And I was on my way to the airport to begin an Amp Up Adventure Cruise to Alaska with one of my mentors, Caterina Rando.
I had known about this cruise for more than a year.
We had monthly Zoom calls for three months to help us prepare. I had the packing list for six months.
And I started packing twelve hours before my flight.
The old me could have had a field day with that.
Why do you keep doing this to yourself?
You should have started sooner.
When are you ever going to learn?
Instead, I was cool, calm, and collected.
That may not sound like a big deal.
For me, it is peace.
I Used to Fight the Way I Move Through Life
I have a long history of waiting until the last minute.
Part of that is my ADHD brain. ADHD brains can have a harder time getting started when something feels boring, overwhelming, or far away because urgency can provide the stimulation needed to kick the brain into action.
And part of my story goes back much further.
When I was a little girl, my father liked to be early. Really early.
Before church, he would sit in his Copenhagen blue velvet chair by the front door, waiting for us.
My mother tended to be ready just in time.
About fifteen minutes before we needed to leave, my father's toe would start tapping.
He was usually quiet. Yet I could feel the tension filling the room.
As I got older, I rebelled against it.
Sometimes my father would leave without me. As a teenager, I would take my sweet time and drive or walk to church on my own.
It was one small way of saying, You don't get to control me.
Looking back, I can see how that tug-of-war followed me into adulthood.
The masculine part of us helps us create structure, make plans, take action, follow through, and get things done.
For years, some part of me resisted that energy.
I would underestimate how long things took. Wait until the last minute. Then turn into the Tasmanian Devil, whirling through everything that needed to get done.
Sometimes I made it. Sometimes I didn't.
Either way, there was usually tension underneath it.
The Fight Wasn't Really With Time
I thought I needed better time management.
What I really needed was to trust myself.
For decades, I questioned whether I could accomplish my big ideas, take care of myself, and still live with joy and ease.
August put that trust to the test.
Could I speak at summits, lead masterclasses, celebrate a beautiful wedding, prepare for a cruise, serve my clients, sleep, exercise, spend time in nature, and actually feel good while doing it?
Apparently, yes.
Not because I suddenly became perfectly organized.
Because I stopped fighting myself.
Throughout the month, I listened.
Some mornings, I went to the beach and breathed in the salt air.
Sometimes, I lay on the couch and rested.
Sometimes, I worked with incredible focus and energy.
And ten minutes before leaving for the airport, apparently, I printed luggage tags.
Instead of saying, See? You did it again, I looked at the whole month.
I saw the energy I had. The work I completed. The rest I allowed myself to take.
I listened when my body said, Slow down.
And when I knew, It's time to move.
Even that morning, I spent ten minutes breathing, meditating, and calming my nervous system.
The old me might have said, You don't have time for this. Get moving!
The woman I am today knew those ten minutes were exactly what I needed.
Maybe Peace Isn't What We Think It Is
I used to think peace would come when I finally got everything right.
When I was more organized.
More disciplined.
More efficient.
More on top of things.
Maybe you have your own version.
I'll relax when I know I've done enough.
I'll feel peaceful when I finally get caught up.
I'll relax when I stop feeling like I should be doing more.
What if peace doesn't require you to become someone else?
I still started packing twelve hours before my flight.
I still printed my luggage tags ten minutes before leaving.
I still walked to the car barefoot with my shoes in my hands.
The circumstances looked remarkably familiar.
I was different inside them.
There was no inner war.
No voice telling me I had failed again.
No belief that the way I moved through my day meant something was wrong with me.
I trusted myself.
And because I trusted myself, I could hear something much quieter underneath all that activity:
All is well.
That is what peace feels like to me now.
Not a perfectly calm life.
Not an empty calendar.
It is a center point of stillness I can return to while life is moving all around me.
It is knowing when to rest and when to move.
It is allowing myself to be who I am while continuing to grow.
A Moment of Peace
Today, simply notice one place where you've been giving yourself a hard time.
Ask yourself:
Am I 1% more willing to stop giving myself a hard time?
And:
Am I 1% more willing to appreciate the beautiful job I'm already doing being me?
Put your hand on your heart.
Take a slow breath.
Bring your awareness to the crown of your head. Your crown chakra is the energy center at the very top of your head that connects you with the Universe and something greater than yourself.
Imagine it gently opening.
Allow the love and caring of the Universe to pour in and fill you.
Simply receive.
Breathe.
All is well.
And let yourself rest here, in peace.
